Back in the day when I was young, I used to have a dog named "Tiger". He was fearless, barks a lot chained and for some reasons, not so long ago was sold by my father to our neighbors and only to find out that he was killed by hitting my dog in the head. During that time, I had very few recollections of how things transpired as I was just very young and nevertheless,  as time went by... I moved on even though it had gotten those unfortunate memories stuck on my head. Years passed by, and had the opportunity to have a cat, I named him "Muning" and lived with our family for over 9 years, until he died of old age. I loved him so much as he brought great memories with our family, when he was still alive. I buried him in our backyard and wrapped him with white cloth. During my teen years, we have had so many dogs that we took care in our house in Philippines, some had to go due to some unavoidable reasons, such sickness, old age etc. There was a time that we had 3 dogs in the house and my mom loved them so much. For some reason, whatever got into me was something that until now I completely regretted and continued to be haunted with those memories I should not have done in the first place. Out of those 3 dogs, one named "Bibo" was one of my mom's favorite. He's white, kind of slim, and cheerful. I thought that, because we have had so many dogs in the house. I tookl "Bibo" with me and walked him out of our house while he was leashed-chained and decided to give him away and offered them to my friends which I know what will happen to him knowing the culture in our country when it comes dogs,  which apparently can be eaten as their "pulutan" which many Filipinos can relate to. It was during the 80"s and technology was not as vibrant as today, with internet, and smart devices that are within our grasp. I gave up our dog "Bibo" to a friend and told him, we have lots of dogs and do whatever you wanna do with "Bibo" and you can have him even seeing my dog's eyes so scared to having him handed over.  I immediately went back home and met my mom who was looking for one of our dogs, "Bibo". Even though I knew what I did, I lied and pretended that I had nothing to do with our dog's disappearance. My mom even asked me to look for and around finding our dog, and I just simply told her he will be back, and he might just be around the corner and told her not to worry in which I knew myself that I was so very guilty of. I remember my mom was very worried and almost teary-eyed with no insight of "Bibo". Several days, months have passed in which it went back to normal as my mom's hope finding our dog was slowly diminishing. For whatever reason/s, I have had during that time, and what got into me was something i will never forget for the rest of my life. Because for so many years that have passed, I am still being haunted by the dark memories and the action I took which to me was a total disregard of our dog's freedom and welfare. Forty plus years and until now, The agony and pain I put my dog's life was still in my mind that the guilt in my heart stays and only should have I known that during my younger years that I was so stupid, with foolish  responsibility I deeply regret, blamed myself and with a heartfelt apology...asking forgiveness from my mom, family and to "Bibo". Up to this day, I really didn't know what happened to "Bibo", if they killed him, nurtured him, adapted him.... but one thing for sure,... I did something that an animal should not have gone through... the way "Bibo" had gone through. I know that "Bibo" is up in heaven I will always pray that people around the world shall show kindness, caring and heartfelt love to all the dogs.

The Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) is a volunteer-based, non-government organization whose goal is to prevent animal cruelty through education, animal sheltering and advocacy, based in Quezon City, Philippines.

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